Why “Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers” is the Number One Book I Recommend to Clients
This book has already changed the sex lives of so many people i know, friends and clients included. As the authors point out, prior to the research that this book is based on, sex was always studied from the point of view of pathology. The questions of pathology will be familiar to you: “why won’t the penis go up?” “why is the pussy not getting wet?” “why is one partner lower desire than the other?” These kinds of questions come from the perspective that “something is wrong!” (or not “normal”) and we need to fix it, and then sex will be good again.
Kleinplatsz and Ménard argue convincingly that finding the answers to these questions leads us to “functional” “sex”, but … so what? Should sex therapists get a standing ovation for helping two people get a penis into a vagina for long enough that ejaculation happens? I guess thats….fine? But wouldn’t it be nice to know what else could be possible? What conditions create the ability for two or more people to engage in something transcendent? What can we learn from these magnificent experiences that will help us earthlings elevate what we expect from sexual encounters with our lovers and friends?
The experience of reading this book for me, as a sex therapist, was both that everything I read felt obvious and like I’d never heard it before. The authors do an excellent job of presenting the myriad and fascinating findings in their qualitative research in a way that is compelling, approachable, thought-provoking, and immediately applicable. They invite the reader to ask questions of themselves, to imagine what’s possible, and to see where they’ve gone astray in following some of the standard fare expectations of sex. Hilariously, they also roast several of the respondents who are sex therapists and so-called “experts” for peddling beliefs that their findings quickly refute.
This book is available on audiobook, and I’ve had several clients really enjoy consuming it that way. I have the physical copy, and my only critique is that the quotes from the study participants, which really bring the material to life, are not edited for read-ability and sometimes are annoyingly filled with the realness of our communication, “um’s” and “you knows” abound.
If you are interested in coming in to do some sex therapy work, even if your questions come from that place of pathology I was referencing, like “why won’t my [insert body part] work the way I want it to?”, you can count on my style being more aligned with this book, and focused on helping you to find the most pleasure, deliciousness, and just enough safety to be able to take some fun risks in your sex life. Click below to request a free, 15 minute consultation with me to get the process of therapy started, and order this book right away so you can get a jump on the work!
Link to Schedule a Consultation
Link to Magnificent Sex by Peggy J. Kleinplatz, PhD and A. Dana Ménard, PhD